the transient cravings of a fickle heart

what do I call this unrest,
and is giving it a name even fair,??
there is no possible vent,
I never defined one. Or is it that my definitions are irrelevant..?
Is my 'defining' these things unfair......?
why's that I never find myself fitting in any static, coherent, 'definable' definitions myself, so to speak.
Is it wrong being not who you were a few moments ago..?

I call it being myself, which is precisely not being constant in any particular point of time. I have been called everything , from spontaneous to fickle, but isn't the whole point of 'being yourself' comprise of being , respecting and justifying all your idiosyncrasies??

I change, for good or bad, I have no idea, but definitely to a clearer conscience.
and what if that very change hurts anybody in the bargain, is it fair?

I debate and defend myself.
I win and lose my personal battles.
I have my phases
spirituality, independence, nihilism and the likes.
I get over, I restart.
and behind me I leave questions, dilemmas, hatred, even vengeance.

I don't mean any harm.
and yet the white noise inside is never pacified..